The Myth of the Training Montage

Whether you’re watching The Karate Kid, Mulan, or Rocky, the trope of the training montage is designed to show characters getting good at something quickly.

This is a problem because these montages, from classic movies which we’re all likely to have seen, teach us that real-life success is supposed to come as quickly as it does in the movies. When it inevitably doesn’t, it can be discouraging, as is often the case when we’re taught to expect one thing and something else happens instead.

These movies also fail our expectations when they show training to be an exciting event. Training is probably going to be boring, and it’s definitely going to be hard.

Good.

No one is cheering you on when you’re learning HTML at night after a full day of work.

No one is there to pick you up when you stumble during a practice drill that’s lit by moonlight.

No one is there when you’re combing through the 2000-page textbook trying to find the specific sub-section of the tax code you’re looking for.

When you finally build that app, or throw that game-winning pass, or get that Big Four job, those are the moments of glory, and they should be savoured. These are the peaks of life, and they are separated by incredibly long valleys.

The valleys aren’t meant to be “troughs”—they’re not bad, they’re just necessary. Most of your life will probably be spent becoming good at something. You might not be passionate about that thing for the first few weeks or months, but you keep at it. You know your work in the valleys will pay off.

So enjoy the challenge, and await the mountains.

                                                                                                                                       

Hey, thanks for reading. This post was inspired by this Zen Pencils comic and a conversation with a good friend. Sorry if this post isn’t as good as the others, but the idea of enjoying the process felt like it was an idea worth sharing (and TED hasn’t asked me to do a talk yet). Besides that, I have 2-3 other posts that went unpublished and I didn’t want to make a habit out of it. Anyway, constructive criticism appreciated. 

The Consequences of Limiting Yourself

I always thought I was clumsy. When I was a kid, I would always spill things or drop cups; it was never on purpose, but all of these actions proved to me that I should be extra careful when handling anything. It also taught me that there were some things I just shouldn’t pick up.

This belief did some incredible harm when my cousin was born. Like all babies born into loving families, she was held constantly.

For as long as she was a baby, I never once held my cousin. I couldn’t bring myself to hold her out of fear that something terrible might happen.

My cousin is six now and I can see how she is not as close to me as she is to those who held her. I see it every time her parents have to tell her to give cousin Jeremy a hug instead of her running to do so like she does with other relatives.

This is, perhaps, a blessing in disguise since it has shown me how babies bond and extend love to even peripheral family members. But this silver lining wouldn’t have been necessary if I had just realized my limiting belief.

Self-limiting beliefs give us the excuse not to get better. By saying you’re “not a math person”, yes, you’re probably protected from ever having to do math again, but you’re also denied the opportunities that come from being good with numbers.

Like many things, it comes down to cost-benefit. The benefit of my believing in clumsiness may have been a few spills that didn’t need cleaning and glasses that didn’t get broken.

But it came at a cost that will never be worth it.

Editor’s note: I’ve missed you. I’m sorry if this post isn’t as good as the other ones might have been (keyword there is might). It’s tough getting back into form and I appreciate all of you who have stuck with me. If you have a topic idea, I’d love to hear from you! Suggestions can be made in the comments section or on Twitter @JeremyDeMello.

The productivity benefits of keeping peanut butter at your desk.

Everyone is always looking for the next great productivity boost, but I bet nobody has ever considered the productivity benefits of keeping peanut butter at their desk.

To my knowledge, there are no benefits. In fact, many workplaces would probably forbid this because of nut allergies.

One of the things people caught up in a business or leadership culture often get bombarded with are “productivity hacks”, which are simply ways you can be more productive.

To be fair, some of these are great. Taking breaks every hour by going for a walk or doing another light physical activity is scientifically backed.

The vast majority of these hints are sourced from successful entrepreneurs/leaders/people. These tips work for them. They may not work for you.

For example, there are apparently people who get by on a series of 20-minute naps throughout the day to a total of four hours. I once asked a somnologist, a sleep doctor, if this would be possible to do. Once she stopped laughing, she said absolutely not. But if you somehow tried it and it somehow did, then sleep doctors and evolution be damned.

By all means, research ways to get better. Do not let the success other people have with their methods deter you from finding and using your own. Do not let their methods discourage you from doing your work. Other people might read faster or calculate more quickly, but that doesn’t mean your efforts count for nothing.

You accomplish the same goal in a different way. However you get there, it’s still called success.

P.S. This is my 20^th blog post, and you may have noticed that the format of my title has changed. This is because I’m working on creating more compelling headlines, which is part of being a better blogger. As you also may have noticed, I’ve begun to post much less frequently. There’s been a shortage of material lately, and if it doesn’t inspire me, I wouldn’t want to try and force the feeling on you just to meet a weekly quota.

I would never have come this far without readers who inspire me by sharing their stories as I share mine. The fact that I’ve been able to entertain, and dare I say even help some of you, is an honour and a privilege I take seriously. So, whether this is your first visit or you’ve been with me from the start, thanks for reading, and C-Suite Dreams!

Editor’s note: If you have a topic idea, I’d love to hear from you! Suggestions can be made in the comments section or on Twitter @JeremyDeMello.

General resolves, or, How I will make 2014 awesome.

2013 was, in a nutshell, alright.

I made dozens of new friends. I learned to cook. I started writing a blog, and I believe I became a better writer.

I was more stressed than I’d ever been before. I was always afraid of failure. I spent so many nights either apathetic to my work or praying for miracles. I never missed a deadline, but I never quite did my best. I still did well, because producing under pressure is a by-product of being a “good” procrastinator. I still felt guilty, because that is the primary symptom of all procrastinators.

It felt great to beat the odds, even if I couldn’t beat the demon that was the fear of failure.

There’s nothing I’d love more than to make a sweeping declaration, here and now, that I would never again let that fear hold me back. It would make me feel good and impart to all of you the hope that I believe you’ve come to expect from this blog. The hope that we can all be better.

Yes, we can all be better. That part is true.

But it starts with a belief. More than any quotation, any philosophy, anything at all, it starts with one belief: it’s the belief that you are in control.

There is something alluring about the belief that we are not in control. The belief that I need to be in the mood to work or have the right circumstances to produce. The problem is that, for me, this mood or these circumstances always rose up as the clock counted down.

No more.

Here’s the deal I’m going to propose to you. I’m going to spend one year taking full responsibility. I might still fear failure. But I refuse to let it hold me back anymore.

No more “doing my best, given the circumstances” when I  am the one who brought those circumstances about.

No more “being busy”. Busyness is an excuse. “Oh, why couldn’t you read that paper to know what’s actually happening in the world?” You weren’t busy, you were lazy, and to the point above, you chose not to read it. Being legitimately busy is one thing. Using it as an excuse is quite another.

I have resolutions, which I’ll share next time. If you’re making goals, remember to write them down and to structure them. If you’re so inclined, post them in the comments as a public commitment, and check back in a year to post an update.

Let’s make 2014 awesome. Let’s do it together.

                                                                                                                                       

As an aside, I wanted to say how thankful I am that you took the time to read this post and all the others. I didn’t start blogging to help people, but I continued because I did. What I didn’t expect was to open up as much as I did, and for the blogs to hold me to account as much as they did.

Thank you for reading. Thank your for inspiring me to be better. Have a happy and safe December 31^st, and until next time, C-Suite Dreams!

Editor’s note: If you understand the reference in my title, you’re wonderful. If you have a topic idea, I’d love to hear from you! Suggestions can be made in the comments section or on Twitter @JeremyDeMello.

“That’s easy!”, or, Look how far you’ve come.

Most of you reading this are probably tied down with exams or end of the year work projects. If this is true, then I want to thank you for giving me some of your time.

You’re probably pretty stressed. You’ve worked hard and some of the material still doesn’t make sense, or parts of the project just aren’t coming together.

Imagine for a second that you ran into someone in first year or a new company hire. You see them with an introductory textbook, or you know they’ve been hard at work on their first project. And you see that they’re struggling.

Whether wanting a break from your own difficult work, or just wanting to help, you offer an explanation that’s brilliant in how simple it is.

“So that’s the State of Nature?” they ask, in awe of how well you explained it.

“I can’t believe I was missing that analysis metric!” they say when you point out what seemed like an obvious flaw in their report.

And then you go back to your desk, pounding away on work that seems almost unfairly difficult, not realizing the significance of what you just did.

You helped them like it was nothing. Those concepts that were so difficult to them were once just as difficult for you. And look at you now, cutting through jargon like the veteran you are.

Whether your career is academic or professional, you need to see how far you’ve come. Sure you’re more frustrated than you’d like to be, but that shows that your mind is trying to learn. And the fact that you haven’t given up, that shows determination.

All of this shows you’ve got what it takes. Prove it. You know you can.

                                                                                                            

Editor’s note: I kept this one short on purpose, because as much as I appreciate your time, you really should be working. Remember, trying to find motivation to study is the same as procrastinating.

If you have a topic idea, I’d love to hear from you! Suggestions can be made in the comments section or on Twitter @JeremyDeMello.